Retro Tech #2

Retro Tech #1

I created a series.

Thoughts on Captain America (spoilers)

I watched Captain America yesterday and I thought about writing a review. Then I thought of something better. I'll just share my thoughts.

Captain America took place during World War II and every time Captain America fought with his side-kick Bucky Barnes, I had my eyes on Bucky the whole time. You may know him from Gossip Girl, playing Carter.

Now that he's buff and all powerful, you see him more than a friend? Typical.

Guess what. They killed the only character I cared about in the entire film. Why the best friend! Whhhyy!!!!!! I didn't even know his name!

He sleeps for 70 years and nobody thought to tuck him in?!

What did you think about the movie?

I have a feeling that Iron Man is going to steal every scene in the Avengers.

Tapeworm Scared Me for Life

This occurred when I was nine years old. Mother was going to make us fish for dinner.

Me and My Best Friend, HP-Lappie

When I first met HP-Laptop, I fell in love instantly.

There wasn't anything he couldn't do. 

 

We went everywhere together.

One day it grew a fever and stopped working.

It had to go to Mr. Fix-It and came back all better. I was glad to have it back, even if it cost me 200 bucks.

I took it back to Mr. Fix-It but he had bad news.

I had to let it go.

Rejection Letters

I received a rejection letter a few days ago and I don't believe they wrote it right.  So here are some I created. Feel free to use them for your own business.

Let's skim the formal bullshit and go straight with honesty:

No Girls Allowed (Sweet Valley Kids)

#57 in the Sweet Valley Kids series, it's one of the greatest stories ever told. It was published and read by millions so it must mean something.

This is the Wakefield twins, Elizabeth and Jessica. They looks exactly alike.

 

But they have totally different personalities. I mean, look at all the stuff they like.

It totally clashes. How can they possibly be twins, right? I know, I wonder about this all the time. Liz loves Todd. They're best friends. Jessica doesn't like him.

Liz is on the soccer team with Todd. The opposing team had this freakishly tall boy and he couldn't believe that there were girls on the Sweet Valley Elementary soccer team. What a joke. Todd went to tie his shoe lace while Jason, the tall boy made fun of the Sweet Valley Team. Gee, Todd is sure having a lot of trouble tying his shoe lice.

Liz was determined to kick bottoms with the Sweet Valley team. The Slammers didn't stand a chance against them. Hello, Sweet Valley has the amazing Liz Wakefield. She's excellent at everything-- wait a second. They lost?!

WTH Liz?! You were goalie as well. Were you dozing when the ball was going towards the net? You should be ashamed. You're supposed to be the amazing Elizabeth Wakefield. You let the whole team down.

 

You REALLY let Todd down. Ken nudged Todd to tell Liz what they really think of her. You just lost one game too many.

THE END





Just Kidding. Sweet Valley Kids would never end like that, but I assume you know what happens next so I won't bother telling the rest of the story.